Already Gone

I slept on the floor
In the lounge
Too much you all around
I waited for the phone
Perhaps your key
There’s no-one home
Its always only me
And, so I learned not to bother you
Not to care what it is you do
You stayed away
I survived each day
That was my first door
Crutch gone, I didn’t fall
I made it to the kitchen
I slept in minutes
Dramatic increments
Memories came in a shot glass
My long hair hung lank
My body spoke of before
Whispered trigger points
Where I kissed you,
The last as body betrayed
Even my broken scream stayed
Bounced around
While I sat in the corner
Blackened feet on the table
Eyes bleached the grey of before
I did as much as I was able
Until another day went away
My eyes seeking a savior
Didn’t go out
Didn’t shout
The hatred built like euphoria
I said, “Remember this…”
A thousand times
I said, “No goodbye kiss..”
A thousand tries
I said, “You did this…”
A thousand lies
Still, only emptiness beside me
None to hold in weary arms
Just the same as it will always be
None to guide me
When I cannot see
The same as it always was
None to hide from my weakness
Or, from an angry world
Can’t conceive how I held on
Can’t believe I was that girl
All these years just gone
Second crutch an important one
I made it to the front door
Icy cold that hit my veins
Wake up call, adrenaline
It shamed me, but remained
Distillery, I wanted more
I shook you loose, every part of me
And removed your stain with finality

Posted By PastelPoetry from WordPress

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