I searched my written words
For definition
The completion
A necessary repetition
For deletion
Those that I repeat
Those I cannot speak
Those that stole my peace
I wrote so many of them
For you
When we were new
I wrote of passion and love
But, when we knew
We faced the end
I wrote of letting go
And that I wouldn’t show
My Hurt
Then words stirred anger
You left too slowly
Yet Demanded
Even side by side
You were gone
I found my pride
I wrote that I was wrong
To believe in love
And that hurting was real
It grabbed me
Hit me into brick walls
So, the bruising showed
Countenance covered
With disappointment
The cross I touched
Showered with reverence
Around my neck
Remembrance of doing
The unthinkable
The begging, breaking and taking
I tip toed around acceptance
My heart failed me
Followed me
Your defection
Any independent quality in living
Until, finally
It was over
And the words I wrote
Decided Me
Almost kindly
Said my goodbyes
In poetry and letters
You’ve never read
But, I said what I’ve said
Put acknowledgment away
Time heals
It will show
It cannot hide
I am relieved
Semantics aside
The endless drama absurd
You chose to go
If you’ve read even one word
You’d know

Posted By PastelPoetry from WordPress © 2001


An Arrangement

I fell into you
When we met
Fated design
At the right time
Right place
The space in my head
For an affair
Of the mind
I listen
Your life fascinates me
The time line
I’m content
With an arrangement
Not meant
For forever
And no lies
To devastate
You seem surprised
That your hypnotic eyes
To me don’t mean love
I’m too tired
To explain
That I had enough
And it means
Get complicated
I am passion
And control
And No anytime
Suits me fine
As we speak
I care for you
What you’ve been through
I understand
But, know I won’t demand
So if we don’t kiss
There’s no kiss and tell
And, when you are ready
I will wish you well
And thank you, too
For the gift of you

Posted By PastelPoetry from WordPress © 2001

Snapped on the Wire

I stand on a ledge
Tippy toe fire
Tipped too far over
Snapped on the wire
Bounced back and forth
Sure footing is fought
The price was too high
I snapped on the wire
The moment I was caught
Believing Fairy Tales
Until I stumbled and fell
Into this idealistic haze
This is not my ending
This is not my quiet
‘Til I snapped on the wire
I had never been higher
And death odds require it
It is between you and me
And what I can never be
If I’m saddened by loss
And that I can’t remain
I stay snapping on the wire
As it infiltrates my brain
By snapping this wire
Somehow I am contained
There’s gotta be some spillage
There’s gotta be some work
And if you’re on the other side
Stay there, away from hurt
I never meant to poison
Not from my tomb
Not from my heart
Still I snap at this here wire
Draw in tight to draw apart
No leeway, it is gone
The balance can’t be won
I know I’m falling over
And, have been for so long
Just let me keep on falling
One more Snap, too tightly wired
And at last, I will be done
One last snap, I am so tired


Posted By PastelPoetry from WordPress

The Fates

Woven by Moirae
Mortal design bound in thread
My tragedy unfurled,
Where my life has led
Even the Fates turned aside;
And hide tears as they work
Up ending embroidered loss
Broken, I live in cropped stitches
A kaleidoscope of hearts
And; a single silver thread
of granted wishes
There is a wisdom in necessity
Even, in love not meant to be
Like puppets in stops and starts
My life continues; untold glitches
I can’t prevail, in this I lose
Clotho, Lahkesis and Atropos,
Cry as they weave mankind
They Cry to Ananke,
A Mother who guides no more
This – I did not choose,
Are you Listening, or turned blind?
While I implore Zeus,
Please stop
The loom chamber glints
Ashen and gold
Beautiful Reds in grief
Wondrous Blues of magic
Bound to each, these three
Woven core for destiny
They do not pause
Or give probable cause
They have no say
They cannot speak
They cannot change
The future they bring
The Fates will win
But, it is no victory
I’ve asked The Fates
For an inkling
How much longer
Before they cut my string

moirai by pandorasconviction.jpg

Posted By PastelPoetry from WordPress

Two Words

Hold high
My pride
Before I die
I wanted
A little more
I suffered
Less before
Was Reminded
In flashes
Of Kindness
Whip slashes
Two words
Per sentence
Scarred remembrance
Killed us
Lenient perhaps
Stingy with verbs
Two words
All I heard
Too much
Not Forgotten
In mistrust
Stand tall
Shake dust
Refuse all
Incline head
I must
My bed
My mistakes
My heartaches
Offered hand
I Declined
Next time

Posted By PastelPoetry from WordPress


For Winter
Lucid, Lose it
My dreamed refuge
From a reality,
Lined too few
Marked face
Puts me out of place
Pink skin still new
Pills yellow, pink
Darker blue
White means
No remembrance
This hindrance
Of a kindred spirit
I did not want
To call friend
So, sleep moved in
Enchanted me
For three long years
I only heard life
From a distance
Children cried
With persistence
I lied, pacified
To go back to sleep
Said whatever
But, pain never went
I was naked, spent
I hibernated
Stored strength
For my Winter
Of discontent
Of mammoth loss
That just won’t end
I feel each pin prick
My life enters bones
As life left yours
Offspring gnaws
Heart clamped jaws
That speak
Yet say nothing
In almighty claws
And make weary
Trudging hills, nothing
God will not hear me
I have to live
Because of deathbed
lies and
When I needed more
Than coercion
When I needed you
Not inertia
When I needed sleep
Left to weep
No escape
It won’t take me
Not pills
Nor deprivation
Not 56 hours
Not red eyes
Not hibernation
Pray determination wins
Wish for mere stings
Of Angel wings
Each Sobbed Inhalation
For my own sake
To feel
To kneel
At His total control
Where prayers are
Finally, Incrementally
It finds me
I smile, Hesitantly
My friend
Still filled with lies
Gifts half hour nightmares
Always your face
My strongest wish
Stays to leave
This place
The pain is unbearable
I thought I knew it
I thought I’d get through it
Aware throughout
My dreams
Highways to insanity
Screaming before
Was merely a shout
Traitorous friend
Bend sleep
Steal time elsewhere
I am awake
I am aware
In an empty stare
But, love me again
I will meet you there
Cover my pain
So I do not care

Fairy Lights by SkyesFantasy

Posted By PastelPoetry from WordPress


There is a prayer
Rattling bones in my head
It leaves my mouth
With no word said
The prayer begins
It will not end
Until I’ve saved all my dead
It shakes me in night
It breaks me by day
These words to God
A Repeated litany I pray
They seal my fate
And Bless my say
I didn’t watch you leave
I didn’t say goodbye
I state staccato irate
I only wished you could stay
And if there was failure
It was only mine
The truth believed
And so in my own way
Control released
Blessings inordinate
The words form clearer
As they formulate
My goal is nearer
Those bones in my head
No longer suffocate
I have always known
This strength in my being
The quiet was necessary
For me to be clean
Penance not ordinary
I no longer atone
Absolution heady
The past not my home
My voice does not quiver
My hand is steady
My voice carries far
My soul stands ready
A prayer this powerful
Left my mouth today
I am no longer doubtful
I gain in self as I pray
It went straight to Heaven
Found where you are
Beyond and resting peacefully
To realize I’ve been repeating
The very prayers
That you’ve been praying
For me

Posted By PastelPoetry from WordPress


Trees don’t know the wind by name
Only by soft or wild caresses
And lullabys don’t know their author
They become history just the same
Trees dance unasked
They bask in sunshine or rain
And songs are sung
They reassure, and they remain
Even if the origin a mystery
So we put to slumber
As we ourselves once were
While trees endure thunder
And grow despite fire
Become strong rooted and new
Both touch hearts, inspire
The words form foundation
Of a truth we always knew
While God reveals His creation
As both the reason and the strength
The art of words, so powerful
Saturation of a soul filled
With beauty and sleepy lines
Distant wind chimes of childhood safety
And so find rest, infinite times
A voice that carries through eternity
Knowledge that our bonds hold
Pure belief
In magic
And Fairytales
As they enfold
Count not the tragic
Power in simple things
The love been human brings
Your remembered warm breath soothes
A long ago innocent child believes
A magic that’s retained
Far beyond adult stains
As long as my heart can retrieve
As long as my mind can conceive
You will be the magic in my dreams

Posted By PastelPoetry from WordPress

Tears are Fine

For so long
Eyes too dry
I thought I’m strong
Didn’t know
I had nowhere to go
The betrayal new
Then I lost you, too
Found the tears I cry
Can fill an ocean
I thought that’s just
An expression
No, for me
A confession
I hide inside
Under depression
Search for sleep
What was the lesson
This eats my need
I search for you
What didn’t I do
Search for a potion
Apportion, caution
There is none
There is no blame
You are gone
I am not the same
Your end a new start
Pain sharpens my beating heart
Like pencil shards a sharpener discards
Left behind
Tears scream
Pain moves
Inside, outside
But, blindsided
As worlds collided
And I’ve decided
These tears are fine
I may heal in time
But, for now
Remain asking how
In chain, bondage
I’m lost, its allowed
And tears are fine
If I can’t stop crying
For now, let me be
Alone in this place
Where God sees all
Grace combining
Living do the dying
A tiny piece a day
Living do the living
The dead never go away

Never Forgotten:
by Morteque on deviantART

Posted By PastelPoetry from WordPress


I walk these paths of life
Thistle entwine
Ensnare combine
To trip me
To hold me down
Reminds me to atone
While my heart beats
While these busy streets
Do not touch me
Even if memory
Is nevermore
Sacristy, that Holy border
That I cannot cross
As I lick my wounds
In some God forsaken corner
In remembrance
Bravely forge new paths
This absence of home
Leaves me breathless
As I climb unenlightened
By loss still too new
I dial
Still hoping
It isn’t true
That you haven’t gone
That you quietly wait
While I come to you
The path to your door
Is nevermore
I climb in vain
Without you
The journey changed
That worn pathway ignored
A lone traveler
Seeking your door
It is nevermore
There are no arms to greet
Mutely weak
Many words hurt
So I don’t speak
While in my head
I see your face
I imagine grace
And I hear your words
Where wisdom has led
Of binding cords
This nevermore
I pray because
I steer this course
In hope always
But sorrow remains
Your smiling eyes
I feel you still
And wish for clarity
Our precious time
Is gone for eternity
I stay on, I walk
It seems no end
In sight or around
These twisted turns
Leave you unfound
Somehow I follow
I’m back at start
Only now hurtful hollow
At nevermore
Where I’ll be tomorrow
It is a circle
I realize that
I won’t say goodbye
Though you can’t come back
I wait in mists
Until I see you again
I speak to you
My best friend
If answers are too slow
I understand
Time does not exist
I will persist
Search for the door
To Nevermore
If I am still
And await nevermore
It will be back
I must wait
With definitive patience
My Heart never the same
Until we meet again
At Forevermore

Edgar Allan Poe – The Raven
Quoth the raven, `Nevermore.’

At no time did Poe’s Nevermore cross my mind while writing this poem.

Thanks, Louise

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