The Universe

The Universe has mothered me,
used me, tested me, orphaned
me, disappointed me, helped me grow and appreciate, taught me about
loss, hurt me, exalted me,
shown me people who are
precious and those who are
cruel. I’ve lived, facilitated,
worked, learned, delighted in wondrous things, nurtured,
listened and hidden away. I’ve
fought demons and been
embraced by Angels. Now I’m
awake again. The Universe will
notice and It will call upon me..
My heart is tender, my No
louder, my Yes Prouder. Here I
am: Alive. Bless Me!

Posted By PastelPoetry from WordPress © 2001



So many secrets, in my head
Sift through these lies
To a Truth
I Spoonfed
Too many tears
While I held you tight
In need of calm
A place to rest my head
Just for a night
These secrets,
they are heavy now
Drag me down
Wipe sweat from my brow
Your burden is not mine
So, I give it back to you
It is your turn
To sift through what is ruined
Know this is the last time
I will take your secret
And; make it mine
Without your secrets
I avoid a thousand land mines
I survived too many
Was made canny, made devine
My nine lives dwindle
And; always pressed for time
Be careful, handle gently
Pressed lips avoid attack
They are quite heavy
I Thank you for taking them back

Photo Courtesy:

Posted By PastelPoetry from WordPress © 2001

Whispers in another room

A voice in another room
Speaks too quietly
Expecting answers far too soon
I try, cry – is it only me
But, the words seem to know
And; the voice in the other room
Seems always stuck on slow
Decipher decisions
Before I’m freed
Decided the visions
Before I agreed
If this was ordained
I missed the blessing
Instead I’m left to bleed
On knees I’m confessing
When will the pain end, let me be
When words cease and set me free?
The story of a life, less friend
I go where you cannot be
Your voice is a mere whisper
But spoken truthfully
As the dusk becomes the dawn
A scream inside my body
Becomes an aching yawn
Memory takes a back seat
While voices in another room
Replace the voices I might meet
I pray memory remains kind
Because my hearing is just fine
Cotton curtains play with the wind
When the silence is most profound
I hear the Angels sing
Your voice in that other room
Has a clarity that’s too loud
Is it the death bell that they ring
Every utterance a clear refrain
You left us far too soon
I think God has enough Angels
It’s just wrong to take you, too
Your voice now crystal clear,
Beloved words, they are not new….
You say, “I love you, now be strong…”
I know there is a purpose
I know I cannot fight
But, in doing this disservice
It only proves that I am right
Still the whisper in another room
Is gone when I put on the light

Photos Courtesy of:
The Untouchable Ghost:
A short story by Miss Niki * Must Read *

Epic Fantasy – Lita Burke

Posted By PastelPoetry from WordPress © 2001

The Grey Mother

I am the Grey Mother
Don’t want to see your face
Your smile like paste – hides teeth
That bite at the world
At my womb
At my soul
You knock and I won’t open
I shut it, even with one foot in the door
My Motherhood splayed, for all to see
On the floor, in the street – be discreet
While you take more and then more
Like some score I’m not aware of
Until the tree of me
Does not exist in this life
And, I pray for none in the next
I pat myself, say I did my best
Yet lock windows and doors
And now I don’t invest
Motherhood – you broke me
Think I misunderstood
Motherhood – let go of me
I’d cry, now all I am is wood

Photo Credit:
Mother Nature by Daborien
Wolf by Susan Boulet

Posted By PastelPoetry from WordPress © 2001

Love Or Something Similar

Love, go quickly
Perhaps I won’t feel your passing
No don’t you hit me
My hurt no more yours for the asking
My fingers traced the bruising
My fear asked who did the using
Was it I – though I gave & gave?
Worked my heart into an early grave
Still, I ached to feel you crush me
Fell willingly when you said, “Trust me”.
That first light was blinding
The blood tasted rusty, crusty
My hopes & dreams I gave to the light
My swollen face convinced it was night
Disintegration of laughter
Integration of my screams
Even then they couldn’t drag me away From you
My stupid faith
My belief you were true
As my belly filled & grew
Grope in hope this child is not you
Deliver, forever changed
Your beautiful daughter
17 years too late
Lead myself to the slaughter

Posted By PastelPoetry from WordPress © 2001

Empty Promises

There’s a culprit that lay upon my chest
My breast, that felt your hand
Cannot understand – emptiness
Left bereft of eyes that smile
Arms to hold – lips to kiss
Cannot understand – emptiness
So if this is goodbye;
Look me straight in the eye….
Promise me, Promise me You
Promise to try, Promise no lies
Promise for both of us
Promise to fill – My Emptiness

(Photo Unknown Artist – my Appreciation)

Posted By PastelPoetry from WordPress © 2001

Dreamcatcher – Put Sadness to Bed

Early Hours.
Vision blurs
My eyes as tired as my heart
And each time they close
Nightmare stirs
And I’m drowning in the dark
Reality lays next to me
Plays with my hair
That 3am infant, colic despair
With coaxing I’m coping
I accept an all nighter
And wrap blanket tighter
My 4am friend, intention pretend
To listen and advise
Understanding mindless surprise
In whispers seems somehow wise
My 5am lover, a dreamy affair
The itch begins, goes nowhere
Beneath my skin,
It squirms remembered him
My 6am Mother, lovingly covers
And encapsulates decades in lock box
Hums soothing drowns…..softly
Infant, lover or friend
She Says sleep now memory
As she puts sadness to bed…..

Photos Courtesy of:

Posted By PastelPoetry from WordPress © 2001

Neither Forgive, Nor Forget

Neither Forgive, or Forget.
I neither forgive, or forget
Even now, I can barely accept
Your words cut like the sharpest blade
While my heart sets defense,
This Blockade
Tests what may come
Rests no more under your thumb
I neither forgive, or forget
Though I try, become adept
And rope you throw, I see
Is Frayed, broken like me
And memory squirms in torment
Loneliest road, my postponement
I can neither forgive, or forget
These, your words, now suspect
Pay heed to untruth, not trusted
Believes no more in a lie
I Stand firm, let conviction burn
Alone, evolving, and so I learn

Posted By PastelPoetry from WordPress © 2001

The 4th Rose

Nobody knows
The depth
The pain
The knowledge
That sweats
My body
And stains
My soul
Before You came
And I was alone
You said I’m the fire
And you are the rain
That when we’re together
We overcome the pain
I said you are reason
And I am insane
That when we’re together
I can think clearly again
Bedroom kisses
A single red rose
Placed on my wishes
And replaces my clothes
I cannot define
When I crossed
The line
Between letting go
Fighting for what’s mine
I keep you close
You have my time
Align my body
Occupy my mind
You are heat
My ability to speak
Down to one word, “Please…”
When I am in your arms
I refuse release
Intimacy demands
This tenderness you teach
Superstition commands
That I claw and scratch
Don’t say you love me
I’m not your great catch
I will leave my mark
You are my ultimate match
I gift you Trust
You are strength at my side
And that is enough
You are the place I can hide
My surrender knows
You are where my heart goes
You are my freedom
And, I Am The Rose


All pictures courtesy of: green butterfly
Fantasy Fairy Rose
Rose Fantasy – Kezzi
Nude: Halel « Dire News
Rose Woman

Posted By PastelPoetry from WordPress © 2001

The 3rd Rose

You called me at 1am
You said,
“I’m sorry….
can’t sleep and miss you my friend…”
I whispered, “You knew I’d be awake”.
We spoke for more than an hour
The same comfort, hidden in perfume
The seduction of a flower
Your voice soothed
My mood naturally inclined
To slide into you
You have no idea
The fear
I’ve overcome
To say again; “He could be the one…”
How can I believe?
My heart is annoyed at my excuses
It beats in time with yours
It says, “I have many uses….and it is okay to care…”
Before I know it, I’ve said: “Come over.”
Two years my bedroom has been
A place no-one has seen
My sanctuary – Masculine
In reds, black, orange and browns
My private toys surround
And I invite you in…..

Your entrance at that early hour
Is easier somehow
I take your hand and lead you
Pull you
Lighting soft and flattering
Close the door behind you
You are so tall, lean – tanned
Your black hair framed
Your face earnest
Grey eyes match streaks in your hair
And laughter lines light sparkle
I make you happy
It is simple, you have trapped me
In your eyes I see all I can be
I stand on tippy toes
My mouth barely touches your nose
We laugh
Then your arms around me
Lift me
I’m in shorts and T-shirt
My breasts against your chest
I hold your arms, the strength
Enters me
I rest my head, sigh
I said no too long, why?
It cannot feel more right
I forget every betrayal
In safety and for you
I forget every man
Every hurt, is dust – it is nothing
I will love you
I must – while I can
For as long as you are my man

We linger on the precipice
What happens next immeasurable
Your kisses are sweet
They touch me
My breath leaves me
Feelings crush me
I am control denied
The feelings come like high tide
Fluctuations, lightheaded
This is where we’ve been headed
From the first hello
Your hands are strong, still slow
My hair tangled in your fingers
Your lips on my neck, lingers
In tiny bites
Until your hands cup my breasts
No simple conquest
It is like coming home
I am not just saying yes
I am saying, “I will love you best…”
One more try
And maybe a final goodbye
All this is choice
And from the precipice I fall
Into you
And you, into me
But, you delay the last line
We do not cross
Instead we lay in each other’s arms
And I am completely lost
We sleep like this
I swear I dreamed this
I am home, not alone
You are more than my lover
It is instinctive
We reach for each other


All pictures courtesy of: green butterfly
Fantasy Fairy Rose
Rose Fantasy – Kezzi
Nude: Halel « Dire News
Rose Woman

Posted By PastelPoetry from WordPress © 2001

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