I got Two (Part Two)

In a word Daddy
The longing in a little boy’s eyes
Even when blood flew
God, how that boy loved you
That love became his cries
The day he became wise
Still I couldn’t match his surprise
As I watched you watch him bleed
Longing finally freed
From a Dad he refused to need

In a word Mommy
Now grown, now woman
She can be kind,
She says, “Mom….you’re only human!”
Yet, takes my lessons
Throws them away
She is my quintessence
She is beauty, she still doesn’t know it
She speaks with an ugliness
I don’t recognize
Yes – I guess she too became wise.

Man Child that has grown tall, hard
He needs nothing
All I see is my baby boy
His words now shards of pain
Tortuous, they end me, again and again

I don’t know, I don’t know

Tough sensitivity
He owes me nothing
I hope, I only hope..always
I’ve loved him
Hope he knows
I’d take a bullet for him

I don’t know, I don’t know

Beat down hard so long
Now fighting back she’s learning how
I hope, I only hope, she knows
Always I have given support
I would take any blow for her
I’d bleed my own wounds
Tear them open…..
Please God gift Your Grace for her

I am nothing, I have failed
I wish I knew more
I wish I believed
I didn’t know, I didn’t know
That I have failed you
I know
You must know, you must know
That was never my intent
And now I carry longing
For time wasted
On You
I want it back
Let me create it
From scratch
I’d do so much better
Now I know there’s a catch
At 17 I wanted out
They said, “You are a walking miracle!”
I saw no miracle
Until I saw faces……
Tiny fingers, tiny toes – that I created
And I held them
And loved like no other
And earned the accolade – Mother
And now that we reach nurture’s end
They even call me friend
Though, I tire quickly these days
I forget words and remember love
I remember home and that I am alone
And……we can never go back
It is destroyed
In war and attack – your tactic
Even with your entire arsenal deployed
And the blinded hate of a fanatic
I am victorious
Motherhood may Hurt
But it is Glorious

Posted By PastelPoetry from WordPress © 2001

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