Finding Jesus

For I know the plans I have for you. declares the Lord, plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future. — Jeremiah 29:11 (NIV).

He said, “I pray you find Jesus..!”
While on his I-Phone
Climbed into his new car
Drove to his smart home
Ate his supper
Kissed his wife
2 children’s laughter
A happy Life
I said, “I pray Jesus finds you..!”
I was all alone
Nobody to kiss
No place to call home
Forgive the poor sinner
Who thinks he knows best
I have Faith in tomorrow
I count myself Blessed
To give having nothing
The ultimate Test

Posted By PastelPoetry from WordPress © 2001


South Africa, Home

I was born the blonde of Big Bay sands
My eyes blue, with remembered tears
Cornrows of wheat strands
Where warriors stood atop Devil’s peak
And all knew the language I speak
I sang remembrance in a drum beat
And ushered in the sunrise
My fists curled as I raized the sun
With Zulu spear and thong
My ancestral home, Cradle of Mankind
This is where I belong
If you look toward the rainbow
And hear every colour in a song
The people I love are everywhere I go
Amid generations of Mother ululation
A new world built from ashes
Formed glorious in creation
With a mountain backdrop
Protea landfills and graceful Springbok
Where rock worn waves crash
In pride that will never stop
The rush of Rugby and Cricket
The regeneration of aloe and love
Betting on handshakes and Acacia
The Big Five, gold, diamond mining
Heat that enfolds me close
Coal fed with dreaded timing
Ever hardened I flower Cacti
Arid splinters, rough heeled I chose
to hold back the sea that brings flood
While salted eyes fix in prayer above
Inhaled scented centuries of blood
Spilled when I walked barefoot
Across the Sub Sahara plains
My soul at peace understood
These my footprints are the stains
As my home turned and returned
We are all just human remains
Our lessons too well learned
This is my heart and in it I see Forever
I aim for the highest peak
This is our land, we live it together
Breadth as wide as it is deep
This is our home, we will make it better
‘Til honeyed fields our children greet
South Africa, Home
Umuzi, Tuiste, Kediaman ~ Ikhaya

Posted By PastelPoetry from WordPress © 2001


Like true fanatics
She believed every line
Like true believers
She had Faith she’d be fine
She tried to teach you kindness
But, you could not understand
I think you wanted happiness
Just not by your own hand
Contentment isn’t easy
You see me, so you will know
Revenge will never free me
It will come from letting go
He who hesitates is not lost
Some thought went into it
Bravely accept the apology
See an unwillingness to quit
When I cannot lead by example
Then remember to forgive
Mostly what I wished to do
Is to love the life I live
I ask only that you are ready
Give me time to turn around
Please hold the mirror steady
If I am frightened by what’s found
Give me time to love the crack
The splintered piece of She
I want to love you back
Reconcile Truly
The reflection of Me

Posted By PastelPoetry from WordPress © 2001


“While there’s life, there’s hope.” ― Cicero

Nothing kills hope quicker than inaction, the mere thought of DOING energizes the soul. Creates a barrier between the unbearable and the ability to cope.

I’ve always had a type of awe at the tenacity and formidable regeneration of the human spirit. As we grow older we learn that life will crush us, it will try to break us, it will daunt us, but still we overcome. We lose the very people closest to us, people leave, they destroy, they abandon; still we persevere.

Sometimes the very act of waking up is a triumph – I will always believe that. I will be 1st to admit that I have wanted to end my existence, when surrender was the more attractive option. Moments of such despair that we cannot conceive healing or success. When we react with prayer that comes from a rawness in our soul, we pray and call on our true Father, while tears flow, because we know we are helpless without Him.

Ah, but then the moments of bliss….in the rising of the sun, in my friends and the quiet strength they lend when needed, in my sisters and the complete acceptance we have of each other…flaws included. My children and their capacity to break my heart and to fill it, simultaneously. In the kindness of strangers and the strangeness of kindness – I am so small next to such immense humanity.

Even the purity of hurt that losing my Mother brought was a type of blessing, because with that came a deeper wisdom and a greater appreciation for just how fortunate we were to have her in the 1st place. God is funny like that, don’t you think? Just when we want to shout at Him and throw tantrums because the hurt is unbearable, He sends a rainbow – a friend, a sunrise, a loaf of bread, laughter.

God Bless you readers, my friends, my family. May He gift you your heart’s desires, but more than this, may He gift you Hope.

Posted By PastelPoetry from WordPress © 2001


I am always afraid
Nerve-endings shatter like fragments
Pieces of “I cannot..”
Shards of “I am lost..”
I hide in the caverns
Of my being
Huge holes of nothing
Cloaked in unseen
Pulled to your presence
This deviance
Lends mindless incoherence
I am hidden
In love incredible
Movement almost invisible
Like fleas on black
Still, I heard your whispering
As loud as the ocean’s twilight
Waves of words
In a whisper room highlight
Like Florence harnessed
Creation within a twisted mind
I gasp at overheard
Shocked you are so unkind
The good that you have bartered
Is absent now you’re blind
I stood quietly
I gleaned every word
You need to know
How low you go
You were never cleared
In searching you are not special
You are only spit and polish
The phantasm incurred
Demolish demeaned derision
I see you and you’re wild
Made one more wrong decision
Heartfelt and idealized
The hurts that remained
Until the day I realized
You are savage, you are brittle
Love has not outlived time
You explain, but it means little
Worse you were never kind
Though you come to me
The largest bite of my youth
I step away so I can see
That you remain my unbearable truth

“Did I request thee, Maker, from my clay
To mould me Man, did I solicit thee
From darkness to promote me?” John Milton – Paradise Lost

Posted By PastelPoetry from WordPress © 2001


Easily startled
Easily hurt
You might think I am hardened
But, that didn’t work
I boasted I’m brave
I protested out loud
But, most important
Tried making you proud
The truth is I love you
And, I always have
Nothing you’ve done
Has made that go bad
I guess pride is useless
And, I should admit it
Amid my excuses
That now seem so stupid
I wanted much more
But, couldn’t say
Released by a calling
I have to obey
I want to be yours
Please say that I may
This uncertainty gnaws
And rips at my soul
Come to me darling
So I can be whole

Posted By PastelPoetry from WordPress © 2001

Karmic Ride

Drip drip drip
Her insurance
Bottled Morphine
The bitter pain she has seen
Your deliverance
A rebuttal
And take the stand
Call your witness
No-one will hold your hand
Trip trip trip
She drags you between
Her persistence
And admired esteem
Don’t care about your story
She knows where you have been
Strip strip strip
Until eventually clean
Relentless layers
Takes confession in stride
She is dementia
She admits it
Remains a matter of pride
Hit hit hit
But, you will never get her
She is wrath
She is forgiven
The aftermath a guarantee
She is scorched from within
Spit split shift
You forgot repercussion
Thought it nothing
Until you were seen
I’m not one for rushing
You know what I mean
Admit it
You are guilty
And it eats you just like me
Beg redemption
Beg reception
Perhaps she’ll set you free
Quick quick quick
Sip from her Karmic cup
Neutralize the spill
Eventually look up
Realize it is all uphill
An easy ride, perhaps
Just made you easier to catch

Photo courtesy of:
Lauryn Hill – The law of Karma

Posted By PastelPoetry from WordPress © 2001