I’ve got this

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These strangers who touch me‎
Who wash me clean, gritty and shiny‎‎
I am not less without you guiding me ‎
I heard myself say,
“‎I‎ don’t mind the pain,‎
It’s the hope that kills me‎
‎…again and again “‎
I recognized truth‎
I didn’t leave it behind ‎
I am free‎
Because the more things change,‎
the more they stay the same‎
I read s‎omewhere‎
The diagnosis‎: is ‎psychosis ‎
But, it is not my truth
I am too honestly insane‎
That scandalous deceit ‎
It is love for love’s sake ‎
           It Breaks t‎he blazing knife‎
Embraces the liars I have endured
Make it easier to take‎
I h‎ang back‎ – ‎Hyper vigilant‎
Paranoia rolls with attack‎
The delusions, ‎
they worm into an abyss ‎
The real and the dream‎
Will both fight to stay awake‎‎
I remember safety in your arms ‎
That it smothered me, 
until it was gone‎
– and I could not breathe at all‎
Your words climbed into my head ‎
And over fed, they live there ‎now‎
Despite all‎ who have shared my poison
    I care‎ even less now, without compassion 
As time fills laughter lines‎
When all I’ve done is cry‎‎
I know it can never be ‎
a‎s it was before‎
Silence is easier‎ than ‎
The banging at your door ‎
The truth is inside me‎ ‎
And I w‎ill never wish you well‎
I draw your essence from my heart 
             And feed that fire
                     maybe you cannot  tell‎
That  it‎ burns me to my soul‎
The knowledge a blackened stone ‎
           Hurts me more than just alone
‎Impossible love, I let you go‎
       Lifted lifeless , without  malice‎
                   Don’t worry love, I’ve got this ‎

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