Some Other Song

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No butterfly tummy
Instead an angry wasp
When love turned to Ashes
Empty without grasp
I gave you intimacy
I gave you rest
Never asked you to need me
Just a little tenderness
You are unavailable
You are offline
Attention given elsewhere
Attention that should be mine
Now I want you out of here
Now I want you gone
If it’s butterflies I’m searching for
I’ll play some other song

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Press Send

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You said,
“Must I teach you everything?”
And Making love became fucking
Just like that
You made me nothing
You told me what to do
How to do it
How to speak
When to do it
I asked you questions
You refused to answer
Innocent of defection
I tried to please you
It was a disaster
You have no right
To take me
Knowing I am Broken
I Am My Fight
And then you broke me harder
Without the affection
You’re withholding
I’m sincere but insecure
Every inch I’ve won folding
You said,
“You’re fucking only me now.”
And Yes that made me happy
Admit I’m crushed how that can be
I said,
“Can’t you be kind?”
Instead of tenderness
You nearly blew my mind
I asked,
“Why won’t you kiss me?”
Didn’t mean to let it out
I wish I’d shut my mouth
I cried,
“God, you’re frustrating.”
Instead of giving me some hope
Laughed at my unoriginal joke

But then we slept
And you searched for me
Your hands, your legs, your body
They told me you are sorry
Turned to kiss me still asleep
Held my long hair tightly gripped
Crushed me with your need
I saw you when control slipped
You said,
“Look at me!”
And then I really did
I saw the hurt you keep well hid
Oh, my love I’ll never leave

I said,
“You really don’t like me?”
When You ignored me like before
Bewildered, it hurt even more

I wrote,
“Goodbye, I’m not calling you again.”
My heart had had enough
Shaking as I pressed send
I know I knew it then
I know it had to end

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Broken Rules

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After you left
I restored order
From chaotic love
That filled every corner
The mess we made
Joined bedding on the floor
Jewellery and panties and heels
Claw marks you can’t ignore
Can you understand how it feels…
…when you say “our place”?
I’ve never asked you to love me
Or questioned why in our haste
I know your scent lingers on
I breathe it in heady inhalations
Long after you are gone
And these tiny love bites
They sting beautifully
I am not yet earthbound,
…….chasing heights
Torso lithe and heavy
With remembered delights
New rules devolve
With attachments deadly
Sharing secrets untold
And only one guarantee
When this ends I won’t be ready
Broken our own rules
Forgot slow and steady
Naked, I hold onto pillows
Place them hard against me
Where need throbs constantly
So many reasons we cannot be
And my Hands shake visibly
At loss anticipated
I’m quiet – I won’t complicate it
Breeze softly visiting windows
Cooling heated skin, feverish
Don’t fall in love, don’t need
Ever mindful,
Though you are wonderful
I am composed serenity as you leave
Heartache left me spiteful
Bite the “I love you” on my tongue

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New Rules

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We were factual, punctual
We decided rules going In
Quiet contemplation
Nothing on a whim
Laid those mines as if functional
Youth gave you a head start
You seemed to need less
Just this attraction
Didn’t care about my mess
Or my constant distraction

So agreed to be a part
Of These rules for you:
Don’t lie
Don’t fall in love
Pleasure and reciprocal promise
Don’t meet….family
Don’t be….needy
Okay with been apart
Except twice a week
Don’t be a bother
Don’t take another
Or, respectfully ~ tell me

These rules work for me
More free with ten years in between
That gap that may just save me
I love your sculpted body
Hours at the gym
And no hurt contemplated
No reminder of him
A decade when I slept
You keep it in place
Mature in need
Your family and friend fan base
Not clued up, not tagged in
So I get you, I’m okay
Music, ideas and condoms
It matters little what you say
I’m monstrous when I love
So I’m glad it’s outta the way