It Didn’t 

You intrigued me. 

I waited for mystery to end. 

It didn’t. 

You stayed at my side. 

I waited for irritation to begin. 

It didn’t. 

You loved me. I waited for it to go away. 

It didn’t.

You asked me to hope. I do.

You asked me to live. I will.

You asked me to be brave. I can.

You never asked me to wait. 

You know I will.

You never asked me to remember. 

You know I will. 

You never asked me to love. 

You know I do.


Hindsight is 20/20


I wrote a hundred words for breakfast
Prettied my heart on a plate
You declined it,
So many times more
Quick to anger and complicate
But that’s before
A lifetime ago,
Whatever, now, you think you know
I’ll deny that I kept score
I’ve learned to let go of hate
Only I regret I wasted wishes
On a love devoid of kisses
Though I may revert
When I sit alone to greet the dawn
My memories do not hurt
My heart and mind do reconcile
Like my glasses upon the bed
Moments gone now forever
And years washed from my lifeline
When eyes had no need for forever
When with no difficulty
I could read every line
A bill, a poem or a letter
With clarity now, is how I see
Grateful tears hastened maturity
When you began to forget me
Now the poems that I write
Are for me, are of night
Of sunshine and light
And the days that I am alone?
These, they are my relief,
They say hindsight is 20/20
I guess that’s also my belief
My vision somehow is complete
Is of time, mind and heart
I am not opposed,
As the story goes
Of these things that make up sight
In acceptance comes a beauty
And, I am seldom now contrite
I have done my duty,
I have lived the gift of my life

Animal is Female – Did you know?


Change is coming
It rides without mercy
Like apocalyptic horses
Foaming with surety
I’ll be running
I’ll be turning
I welcome the hurting
I usher in the night .
This cataclysmic burning
Breathed deeply
Finally I am learning
Even a tamed dog
Can incite her Master
You didn’t spare the rod
And now I come faster
I bite the hand that strikes
And; growl my laughter




Are you done now?
Did you tame the beast?
Find yourself somehow?
Looking West and travelling East
Stop this insanity
Stop the self-destruction
You are a walking calamity
A talking reduction
Of what you hoped & dreamed
Looking for love
In all the wrong places
You’re pushy, you shove
Connecting with no one
Lost in faces
Brittle and abrasive
Find a mirror
Connect please do
You’re killing me
You have my eyes
But I don’t recognise you

Hot & Cold


You Say I didn’t Grab you
But; you Grabbed me too
This desire runs through me,

……inside heartbeats

Just as necessary
Who kisses your long fingers?
Who wipes your fevered brow?
When the air rushes with emotion
Whose kiss forever lingers?
Whose heart is yours now?
Still denied, devoid devotion
Because you won’t let me in
This doubt that drowns me
Leaves me shaken
Wanting more
Mere seconds after been taken
I didn’t mean to love you
But I wished like once before
And when you came
You read my body
Even where I fail
‘Til blinded by my need
I was led to unknown depths
Promises with not one vow
Left me wanting
Even when fed
Left me gasping
Seeing spilled red


I kiss and sheath claws
According to your rules
I must not mark
…..Territory not given
Yet knead with strong hands
Unintended massage
Just a way to delay
Your departing visage
As you quiet what I’d say
When being human got in your way
Still; with you I burn
……Hot and cold
Squirm remembered
And bite the hand I long to hold
That voice a constant drum
Reminds me inside my head
Says, “He swore he goes home
To No One….,
“Yet on leaving, reached a run?”



You have managed to be a part of my choices
Absent sound
You have become the loudest of voices
And I am bound
By this restoration
The sequestration
At an end
Taken by hand and led
End my dance with devastation
Taken and made friend
The only way we can get them
You said
Is to forget them
And freedom comes at no price
As redemption touches my soul
I am not going to live in memory
Like a lover’s caress
I no longer feel or see
I want now
I want heat
I am a note, a discordant beat
And I want the freedom
Of which you speak


Finding Jesus

For I know the plans I have for you. declares the Lord, plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future. — Jeremiah 29:11 (NIV).

He said, “I pray you find Jesus..!”
While on his I-Phone
Climbed into his new car
Drove to his smart home
Ate his supper
Kissed his wife
2 children’s laughter
A happy Life
I said, “I pray Jesus finds you..!”
I was all alone
Nobody to kiss
No place to call home
Forgive the poor sinner
Who thinks he knows best
I have Faith in tomorrow
I count myself Blessed
To give having nothing
The ultimate Test

Posted By PastelPoetry from WordPress © 2001

Neither Forgive, Nor Forget

Neither Forgive, or Forget.
I neither forgive, or forget
Even now, I can barely accept
Your words cut like the sharpest blade
While my heart sets defense,
This Blockade
Tests what may come
Rests no more under your thumb
I neither forgive, or forget
Though I try, become adept
And rope you throw, I see
Is Frayed, broken like me
And memory squirms in torment
Loneliest road, my postponement
I can neither forgive, or forget
These, your words, now suspect
Pay heed to untruth, not trusted
Believes no more in a lie
I Stand firm, let conviction burn
Alone, evolving, and so I learn

Posted By PastelPoetry from WordPress © 2001

The 4th Rose

Nobody knows
The depth
The pain
The knowledge
That sweats
My body
And stains
My soul
Before You came
And I was alone
You said I’m the fire
And you are the rain
That when we’re together
We overcome the pain
I said you are reason
And I am insane
That when we’re together
I can think clearly again
Bedroom kisses
A single red rose
Placed on my wishes
And replaces my clothes
I cannot define
When I crossed
The line
Between letting go
Fighting for what’s mine
I keep you close
You have my time
Align my body
Occupy my mind
You are heat
My ability to speak
Down to one word, “Please…”
When I am in your arms
I refuse release
Intimacy demands
This tenderness you teach
Superstition commands
That I claw and scratch
Don’t say you love me
I’m not your great catch
I will leave my mark
You are my ultimate match
I gift you Trust
You are strength at my side
And that is enough
You are the place I can hide
My surrender knows
You are where my heart goes
You are my freedom
And, I Am The Rose


All pictures courtesy of: green butterfly
Fantasy Fairy Rose
Rose Fantasy – Kezzi
Nude: Halel « Dire News
Rose Woman

Posted By PastelPoetry from WordPress © 2001

The 3rd Rose

You called me at 1am
You said,
“I’m sorry….
can’t sleep and miss you my friend…”
I whispered, “You knew I’d be awake”.
We spoke for more than an hour
The same comfort, hidden in perfume
The seduction of a flower
Your voice soothed
My mood naturally inclined
To slide into you
You have no idea
The fear
I’ve overcome
To say again; “He could be the one…”
How can I believe?
My heart is annoyed at my excuses
It beats in time with yours
It says, “I have many uses….and it is okay to care…”
Before I know it, I’ve said: “Come over.”
Two years my bedroom has been
A place no-one has seen
My sanctuary – Masculine
In reds, black, orange and browns
My private toys surround
And I invite you in…..

Your entrance at that early hour
Is easier somehow
I take your hand and lead you
Pull you
Lighting soft and flattering
Close the door behind you
You are so tall, lean – tanned
Your black hair framed
Your face earnest
Grey eyes match streaks in your hair
And laughter lines light sparkle
I make you happy
It is simple, you have trapped me
In your eyes I see all I can be
I stand on tippy toes
My mouth barely touches your nose
We laugh
Then your arms around me
Lift me
I’m in shorts and T-shirt
My breasts against your chest
I hold your arms, the strength
Enters me
I rest my head, sigh
I said no too long, why?
It cannot feel more right
I forget every betrayal
In safety and for you
I forget every man
Every hurt, is dust – it is nothing
I will love you
I must – while I can
For as long as you are my man

We linger on the precipice
What happens next immeasurable
Your kisses are sweet
They touch me
My breath leaves me
Feelings crush me
I am control denied
The feelings come like high tide
Fluctuations, lightheaded
This is where we’ve been headed
From the first hello
Your hands are strong, still slow
My hair tangled in your fingers
Your lips on my neck, lingers
In tiny bites
Until your hands cup my breasts
No simple conquest
It is like coming home
I am not just saying yes
I am saying, “I will love you best…”
One more try
And maybe a final goodbye
All this is choice
And from the precipice I fall
Into you
And you, into me
But, you delay the last line
We do not cross
Instead we lay in each other’s arms
And I am completely lost
We sleep like this
I swear I dreamed this
I am home, not alone
You are more than my lover
It is instinctive
We reach for each other


All pictures courtesy of: green butterfly
Fantasy Fairy Rose
Rose Fantasy – Kezzi
Nude: Halel « Dire News
Rose Woman

Posted By PastelPoetry from WordPress © 2001

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