Silence

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I am a woman who feels
Deeply
With truth
I’ve hurt from the best
Said goodbye to my youth
You believe yourself above
These things
An orator of finite beliefs
But your silence hurts me
With the insecurity it brings
Made me beg the question:
What’s wrong with me?
And that is not acceptable
I will not live with less
I’d rather return to…
Nothingness
Still not sure if All my Alone
Has damaged me beyond repair
I only know when I love
I need to feel you there
I only know for me
It is Essential that you care
Intimacy is giving
From that Well where we all hide
It’s knocking at a door
Hoping to come inside
And I refuse to be a lesser me
Left on some threshold
If You cannot welcome me in
Then You leave me in the cold
Goodbyes for me are easy
It’s the loving that is hard
If you found it difficult to please me
Remember all I offered
For one word, one kiss, one meaning
If still you offer reticence
Then you are less than what you seemed
I will not suffer by your absence
Relieved you’re less than pleased
I only want to say
What’s really wrong with you?
If in treating me this way,
You’re the one who seems so used?
And even though you wouldn’t stay,
It’s both of us who get away?
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A New Breed of Man

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I see you’re hard
Crusty with belligerence
And there’s ample proof
We cannot coexist
I am soft, sensitive curves
And I cannot cope
With lines that blurr
Your eyes that smile
Yet never touch your mouth
You are a self proclaimed:
“New Breed of Man”
Tough exterior, muscled frame
You are calculated control
A New age metrosexual
Here I am, imperfectly whole
Reminding you,
……you’re not so special
I’d rather be real
I’d rather be honest
I’d rather feel
And love at my hardest
Chivalry is still sexy
And so is being kind
Precarious seed
A New Breed of Man
That wasn’t needed
And even flawed,
Femininity creates perfectly
You are a Fraud
And You are not of My design

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Truths

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The rain pools in earnest
Trying to prove a point
Handed my heart, hide this
Summer is at an end
And I miss you
Your broken bravery
Like salted ocean
My tears on your chin
And I feel you
Upon my skin
Bruised and weakened by sin
Under savlon water
Long haired sea weed
Catches on handles and pulls
I let it
The pain is truth
You go where I cannot
Invitation not rendered
The spite
Still takes me by surprise
Dressed crept slowly like night
Not expecting sunrise
When
All truths see light

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Fools Fooling Fools

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I should have left it
So forget it
Or redirect it
Into something useful
This energy
This body heat
…..electric
…..even when we dont speak
And your hands are not your tools
Loud this desire
Of fools fooling fools
You are far too comfortable
With none of the usual assurances
Far too inscrutable
I have none of my usual uses
I hate goodbyes
With their smiling lies
I hate hellos
With their who the fuck knows
But I love you
So say goodbye before it shows
My hellos I’ll save
For one day when I’m brave

Don’t

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Don’t
Love me for a night
If you cannot love me for two
Tell me secrets and dreams
That bind me to you
Don’t
Tug at my hair
Kiss Me there
Or not play fair
Don’t
Use my secrets and doubt
To figure me out
Then leave when I shout
Don’t
Make me love
Make me happy
Make me try
Don’t leave me asking why
Don’t
Get me talking
If already in your head
You’re walking
Inscrutable you
With your clever words
Clueless convictions
Formed useless with pain
Now love only something you disdain
With your never again
Don’t pull me in
Make love to me like only you could…
Love me ~ It’s agony
I still think you should
Don’t love me ~ At all
Don’t come
I’m good

I am Terrified ~ IAMX

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You look good in leather in bars
Breaking things, breaking hearts
You look good in pleasure, in hotels
Loneliness is the key to break that spell

I am terrified, I think too much
I get emotional when I drink too much
I buy every cry, ’cause I don’t trust
I am terrified, I think too much

In your blood, the fetish
The prize of a million teasing moments blind
Will release you from the circus, the railway
But the gravity between us will keep us safe

I am terrified, I think too much
I get emotional when I drink too much
I buy every cry, ’cause I don’t trust
I am terrified!

I am terrified, I think too much
I get emotional when I drink too much
I buy every cry, ’cause I don’t trust
I am terrified!
I am terrified!
I am terrified!
‘Cause I drink too much
‘Cause I drank too much

I Am Time

With surety, I am time
Flowering or wilted
Seasons of Change
I cannot measure your pain
I only know that
If you are patient with tears
You will smile again
Oh question not the Devine
As I turn to define
The leader, the warrior
The humble, the rose
Exentential, eventual
The steely spine knows
Nightmares on waking
Blind the wonder of dreams
Turning insightful
Life’s welcoming streams
The fearless walk bravely
And fear not the dead
Listen sagely and not easily led
Welcome my courtship
Watch mystery unfold
Love infinitely inside a second
And never lose Faith
Embrace destiny that beckons
Linearity behold
Oh noble quest of breath to death
The hardest fight
Not fought yet
You have your guarantee
The ticking will end
The reckoning will prove only
How well you loved

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How good a friend
How complete your forgiveness
How unforgivable your sin
Time moves sure footed
Without becomes within
Stars and Sun and Moon
I am Time and I win

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Lies

The lies we tell
Stem
From respect
Or neglect

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Or a twist of truth
Told to ourselves in youth
Even white, we lied
To save a morsel
To say we tried
A Silhouetted torso
Of The lies we tell
The Friend
Of A truth we will bend
To avoid pain
Or to comprehend
A final end
The lie is the same
Even when tame
And if you manage a little one
The monster is in you
Bite your tongue
There is no truth glue
Words, once said
Lies, once bled
Harbingers of why
So, give me the spoken word
Give me the choice
If I’m to believe in anything
Let it be your voice

Meg Myers – Monster [Music Video] – YouTube

https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=GVQqZg5BisE≷=ZA&hl=en&client=mv-google

On been single

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Look…there’s blame
Lots to go around
And I played that game
Now prefer my feet
Planted firmly on the ground
Days, months…years
Then woke one day
Healed
In touch
With how I feel
And my prayers
Became conversation
A thankfulness
A peace
And that brought
Freedom
Release
With only myself to please
A perspective
Only loneliness could teach
What I thought out of reach
Wasn’t for me to begin with
And that clarity
Is a gift
I saw my mistakes
As…Stepping stones
Honesty
In reflection
The defection
Inevitable
Necessary

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For blessings of perfection
Everyday
To grow in appreciation
Of love
And what that truly means…
For me
Now when asked
“Why are you single..?”
My answer is really simple
I am in a relationship with myself, my sisters and my children
And…
Those God has  chosen to walk alongside me

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However far that may be
Some share my journey
Some share my view
Love for me is purity
I share this with precious few
I am not afraid of been hurt
I am not against been alone
I embrace all possibility
Because ultimately, 

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God will guide me home

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