A Soldier’s Birthday


4am – I guess I’m a day older
Don’t know when
But somehow I’ve folded
When I’m stopped
When I’m locked
In awkward conversation
Why didn’t I turn out amazing
Like they predicted
Instead, I Became afflicted
With the business of life
Became addicted
To a man as his wife
Left success
Left a mess
I can’t fathom a guess
Of my 1st wrong turn
or that worm of concern
Wriggling, In my grave
At the age
At that stage
When I should have been glorious
Or of Shaken fist
Instead, I ran to hide
And life locked me inside
A vice like grip
or a banged up lip
And my pride stripped
When strength tripped
And I fell once too much
But, I’ve felt the heat
Of the Queen’s seat
I may not be all I wished
With certainty failed
But, Despite all of this
I Remember this detail
The Crown was never mine
I’m doing just fine
If that clock strikes 12
There’s nowhere I need to be
God made only one of me
And then He broke the mold
Predictions are nothing
Just Gambling at a race
I could change many things
Not that look upon your face
Come close, as I whisper
Yes, I guess I’m a day older
I am no Queen, never been

Instead, you made me Soldier


Hindsight is 20/20


I wrote a hundred words for breakfast
Prettied my heart on a plate
You declined it,
So many times more
Quick to anger and complicate
But that’s before
A lifetime ago,
Whatever, now, you think you know
I’ll deny that I kept score
I’ve learned to let go of hate
Only I regret I wasted wishes
On a love devoid of kisses
Though I may revert
When I sit alone to greet the dawn
My memories do not hurt
My heart and mind do reconcile
Like my glasses upon the bed
Moments gone now forever
And years washed from my lifeline
When eyes had no need for forever
When with no difficulty
I could read every line
A bill, a poem or a letter
With clarity now, is how I see
Grateful tears hastened maturity
When you began to forget me
Now the poems that I write
Are for me, are of night
Of sunshine and light
And the days that I am alone?
These, they are my relief,
They say hindsight is 20/20
I guess that’s also my belief
My vision somehow is complete
Is of time, mind and heart
I am not opposed,
As the story goes
Of these things that make up sight
In acceptance comes a beauty
And, I am seldom now contrite
I have done my duty,
I have lived the gift of my life


Hushed Voices
In the next room
rise and fall,
though words sound small
The end too soon
Tries to recall
An opening, a ridge, a view
To a beginning
Converse spinning
A coping, a bridge, when new
Hushed Voices
In the next room
Mine urgent, pleading
Yours distant, misleading
Become loud voices
The end too soon
Become loud choices
As I leave the room


Treacherous body

Denied one more try

Maligned inside sorry

I stopped asking why

Shorted what’s mine 

I’ve only known worry

Yet survived the fire 

That sums up my story

Faint lines trickle 

Creases align

28 day cycles 

Now out of time 

Turned inside out

Red runs no more

Time is a trickster 

With greater in store

Womb to the tomb

I will endure

There is no promise 

Only the ache

Once more I have given

More than I’ll take

Happy Birthday 

A birthday cake

A sticker, glue 

Discarded wrapping

An opinion 

And you

My Mother’s Blessing

Already I’ve broken ties that bound 

To you and to us and to that …..testimony

I was told I’m living your life

Same mistakes, same unwed wife

The lore handed down

Of a fortune teller’s words

“You will only find happiness ….Much later in life. A Contentment, A peace – but, you will have paid the price…”

When you left this world 

When you found your rest 

That end was not yours

Awake I kept Vigil 

And tamed a beast to best it

My Mother’s heart so rested

Though forever we entwine 

Her Blessings became mine


​Bruised where your fingers imprint

Upon my body

Tattooed forever, here is my soul

Hardly wasted

Figure eights on a page

In a link, infinity 

Lipsticked stained 

My perfume in your hair

Your lips that say “I love you”

Your Gentleness when you care

Summer light that arrives slowly 

Promises a new day

When I feel your eyes upon me

When you asked me not to go

For one week, one day…One hour 

Is the moment I chose to stay 

You write with fingers and sighs 

Trace the lines of yesterday’s lies

I open very slowly

I’m careful that way

And, darling it’s your desire

That makes me slip and sway 

It does not really bother you

My reasons and my doubt

It’s how I love your heart beat 

And, now to you so bound


As you walk across the room 

It never really stops

Our desire on repeat 

And, before I realise what I’ve done

I’ve succumbed, I have agreed

Ever doubtful, ever fair

I was willing 

We met there 

We stretch in satisfaction 

Ever regretful, now ever believe

Finally happy, finally content 

And, so I did not leave

You will keep me warm

I will sleep inside your our

And, if I can be enough

I’d like to be the place you love

Just Do It 

Hands resting quietly 

Too still and far too pale

Lips that never lied to me

Now spin out a tale

Indifferent lovers, many

Different loves, only two 

And darling, in that respect,

You were the winner 

Only you

I watch with breath that does not move

The lies I make you prove

So, if you feel me hesitate 

Walk away, don’t stay

Just do it

The questions never adequate 

An integrity that once set you apart 

Respectful misplaced, 

You didn’t hide it 

Thought our maturity could ride it


You were Elsewhere 

I was Here

You, only You ~ decided that 


​Watched minutes become hours 

Trickle wishful thinking

Gently, softly finish what is left

Gently I am forgetting 

And gain lost self respect 

Inside time or outside

My mind keeps 

Incrementally forgetful 

What was all that loving for?

Take a step sideways 

And then a step ahead

To retain some perspective 

And ~

Both hands clasp in prayer

I pray blessings collective 

Plead for heavenly directive 

To Teach me how to care

To Reach me so I know 

And, Gently, eventually I let you go

with certainly 

You were not what God 

Has intended for me

And; with Faith 

Release is easier

I can finally set us free

My Forget-Me-Nots Tree

You messaged me 

When you were surrounded 

By friends and music and laughter 

You thought of me inside your life 

Though you keep me for after

I said this is acceptable 

I said I am fine

But if I’m honest I’m telling you

You’re the reason that I smile

Under my skin 

Somehow we’re making


I had no inkling 

I didn’t expect feeling

I thought that part of me 


And I’m not ready to hope

Enough to feel alive 

I’m not ready to believe 

To give up where I hide

I wish I was built differently 

I wish love felt natural

Instead of wondering 

How much of this

Is Awakening 

And how much is just my need 

How much will this fill me, or


My Forget-me-nots tree

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